Thoughts, ramblings and other stuff

My grandmother just died - her funeral was today and I couldn't make it - there wasn't enough time for me to get there on time. Instead I was just walking all depressed for the past couple of days. She was very sick for a long time. She had stroke years ago. She got much better but she then she started believing she can do all she did before and got another stroke. Still she was still pretty good for few years after. We talked through Skype and she could see me. When she was a kid all there was was radio and they didn't even have it since they didn't have electricity till the 70s in her village (and phones till after communism fell - there where notorious problems with getting a phone line in communist Poland). She lived long enough to do videocalls with me over the ocean though the internet. She kept asking me about new technologies (especially genetics) and, even though she knew about them mostly from Radio Maryja (awful, awful garbage), she was closer to understanding them then a lot of younger people I know. Just thinking about how many changes she had to get used to in her life and how many of those came recently and she still was able to use them reminds me how great she was.

Main reason I went home for Christmas was knowledge that was my last chance to see her. She wasn't able to talk to me for months. It was harder and harder for her to concentrate and respond to what was happening around andd even to have a conversation. We were told she probably had series of microstrokes. She still had moments one could talk with her when I was in Poland but it got worse and worse and she could barely even eat at the end. It still hit me bad when my dad told me. She was my last grandparent.

I also need to go to Boston in May so I planning my trip when the whole thing happened. Now, my parents are nervous at the though of me going there even if logically a chance that anything like that will happen again so soon in the same is extremely low (I think it's even safer now). Also the flight home I was thinking about was through Boston - I would probably got stuck and never made it anyway. Still watching the footage on repeat on the news I couldn't help noticing Polish flag right in the middle of the screen and that made me even more sad and angry. Because I wish I could be with my family right now instead of all alone here with everyone to busy to talk to me. Because all those people who were just enjoying life and now won't ever again and their family who lost their loved ones in one moment for whatever stupid reason it was done for.

Then I went outside and badly twisted my ankle today. So fun week so far...

This was a cold and rainy week. Rain tended to come suddenly and the as fast went away. There was chill in the air, especially right after the rain (on Friday there was a moment when it was 10^oC during day!!!). When the sun was shining it was much warmer. I dislike such weather because it’s hard to dress properly – you’re either to cold or too hot.

Yesterday started pretty – sunny and warm – finally some proper June weather. Then my nephew who came for a visit most probably swallowed part of a car so we had to take him to the hospital. It was evening and it got cloudy and rained a little. After few hours and another hospital we were told to wait for it to come out and went home. It was already after 11 p.m. And as we left the hospital it started to rain for real. By the time I drove my brother and his son to their home it turned into real downpour. It was one of the worse drives ever – heavy rain, uneven, Polish roads and me very tired. Just as I was getting home an accident blocked the road. There were multiple cars involved and I saw at least three firetrucks but ambulances were already gone. With weather like this I had a feeling there would be an accident. I was just hoping I would not be involved. Luckily I managed to bypass it and get home before midnight.

So today I was tired and almost didn’t go to vote (I have to vote were my brother lives because I never remember to do the paperwork needed to change the voting place and I didn’t feel like going all the way there again). But that would be the first election I would miss since I become old enough to vote and I didn’t want that so I went and voted. They keep calling it the civic duty but it really is a right. And I intend to use my rights. After all people fought and died so I could do it. And yes, I think every vote counts.

Next week rainy and warm. Humidity, I didn’t miss you